OK. You've seen Anthony Hopkins in the Fastest Indian. Here is your shot at glory

 

Hopkins was magnificent. And grandly overweight. Hardly fit the cowling of the World's Fastest Indian. (See the Sony Pictures Japan website for more info on this quirky but ultimately inspirational real-life adventure story.)

But we don't have to go to Bonneville to enjoy a real modern-day challenge. A boat-ride yes, but not from Newzee to Long Beach washing dishes and fending off the "sailors" just a quick hop from Niigata to Sado.

Why not, let's try it, the oral fixatives would immediately say. (Thanks Sigmund.)

Why on earth should we, the anal retentives would  no doubt respond.  Choose your  own hang-up but hey, islands don't grow on trees, they come attached to tectonic plates.

Let me say this though. Sado is WONDERFUL. I say that from experience, or more accurately "half"an experience. Having done the Sado International Triathlon B Race twice. Or maybe two halves do add up to one?

Make up your own mind. Many Half-Fast racers and touring types are doing this. Why aren' you? Whichever end of the alimentary canal, Sado is worth it. (Fondness for sea-food highly recommended though. Ed)

As always, your faithful correspondent, slowly coming back to his sense. Quo usque tandem abutere, Peter, patienta nostra, the Senator might have said.  Il Platonibus ultre sanitas ventorum, hoc et propter dictatis. 

Tried to post a downloadable PDF copy, but no go on this web-builder set-up.